Christianity is a Drug

By Matt Paisie

Everybody knows that marijuana, cocaine, etc, work to kill someone via their adverse chemical effects. (Or so say the conservatives.) Drugs remove people from reality, affect their judgement, and are used as an excuse for everything from gang violence to bad made-for-TV movies. In other words, they are the most expensive excuse on the planet, except for the Starr Report.

Christianity does the same thing; many Christians claim that they have to do this or not do that, because God told them so. If a non-Christian or a cynic said that, how long would it take for the cops to put him/her in a padded room? They say that they have to do God's will and they get away with anything, yet if someone said they had to burn down the gas station because Ed, the god of diesel, told them to, they would basically be hung. Some fools even get low-budget TV shows so they can preach their interpretation of a 2,000 year old book for anybody who happens to be listening at 5 AM on a Sunday morning.

Some individuals say people die because God willed them to, but having a 35-year-old white guy shoot them in the head with a Beretta 9mm is a weird way of God willing someone to go up to the big house. Coincidentally, these same people are sometimes the ones who blame the decline of civilization on nationally syndicated cartoon shows.

Since Christianity removes people from reality by excusing them from any kind of responsibility or logic, since a nonexistant father figure told them to, it affects their judgement in basically the same way, since they will attempt to push away anything they do as God-sanctioned actions, and therefore, Christianity is a drug.


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